There's a monster in my chest.

For a week I woke up to the sound of small feet running around the house. Such a beautiful sound. It was so good to spend time with family from Lubbock and getting to see my little nephew was amazing. He is so entertaining to watch and I found myself teary eyed when they left. All I could think about was that little boy and all the joy he brought into our lives. I fell in love with his smile and wonder. God is doing some amazing things and I'm super excited. He's been showing me that more and more people in my own circle of friends that need to be involved in something deeper, something real. The want to experience a relationship with God...not some distant thought or story. I'm seeing young people hurting in their families, marriages and struggling with vices that conquer their lives. They want...NEED someone to love them and encourage them in their faith. They need a hope to cling to. He's also making my heart grow bigger for people who are hurting. It's an incred...

Work has been a heck of an experience today. This particular morning left me irritated and overwhelmed. I have a lot on my plate at work and let me just say that I love it. Not many people can truly say they love their job but I do. I just get exhausted when I see no change. There are problems….problems that are addressed, discussed and dismissed on a whim only to greet me with a heavier presence the next time I turn around. This morning, I was caught up in the chaos. My white shirt ripped, my skin turned green and I grew this terrible lisp much stronger than the one before. Needless to say, I came back from court and unleashed my terror. Papers were flying and desks were breaking as I made sure my coworkers were aware of my troublesome life. “JESS SMASH!!!” Why did I do that? When did I become such a…complainer? *shiver* I used to be so optimistic. Really, it was sickening. I know that I lived in my naivety with bright eyes but I think I much rather enjoyed it there. I like smiling. I...

Before I start “officially” blogging - hopefully on a regular basis -I thought I’d lay some info down about myself. First and foremost…I’m a Christian. Not one of those pretentious-holier-than-thou types or even the title itself lacking the actually faith and desire to follow God. I’m just a girl who loves Jesus. I’m beyond imperfect but that’s not a crutch for me to never stand up straight and strive to do better. In the past I admit that it has been a place all too familiar…a place of complacency. I don’t just care about going to church or being a “good person”. I just want to make that clear. God’s goodness is real in my life and I want to do everything I can to show that He is alive in me. His grace takes what mess I’ve made of me and makes it beautiful…somehow. I don’t know how He does it but He’s just good like that. I’m a wife to my best friend. He makes me laugh like no one else because luckily I married a big kid. Therefore, my days are never dull. Yes, at times I’ve wished he...