Reawakening

Before I start “officially” blogging - hopefully on a regular basis -I thought I’d lay some info down about myself. First and foremost…I’m a Christian. Not one of those pretentious-holier-than-thou types or even the title itself lacking the actually faith and desire to follow God. I’m just a girl who loves Jesus. I’m beyond imperfect but that’s not a crutch for me to never stand up straight and strive to do better. In the past I admit that it has been a place all too familiar…a place of complacency. I don’t just care about going to church or being a “good person”. I just want to make that clear. God’s goodness is real in my life and I want to do everything I can to show that He is alive in me. His grace takes what mess I’ve made of me and makes it beautiful…somehow. I don’t know how He does it but He’s just good like that.

I’m a wife to my best friend. He makes me laugh like no one else because luckily I married a big kid. Therefore, my days are never dull. Yes, at times I’ve wished he would just grow up but that’s one of the things I fell in love with. He is silly and constantly trying to make me smile. He puts on this mask of the tough guy/Dexteresque type like he’s not compassionate and doesn’t have a conscience. Well, even Dexter has a conscience. His heart is golden but not a lot of people are privileged enough to get close enough to know that about him. We’re both very passionate people and I don’t mean that just in the lovey-dovey way. When we fight, we fight rough. When we’re stubborn, we get nowhere at all. When we love, we love deep. It’s hard to avoid with him being Spanish and me being raised by the world’s most beautiful and beautifully stubborn woman. It also doesn’t help that I have this routine every morning where I rip my heart out of my chest and attach it to my sleeve. Anyway, he’s my soul mate and the best thing that’s happened to me. I wouldn’t trade in all the laughter we’ve had AND all the tears for anything in the world.

I’m a daughter to the most wonderful woman I’ve ever known. When I think about her…I always imagine that she’d be one of those great stories told of brave women who love the Lord in the Bible. I know my mother is not perfect. But it’s been those times that she’s been so open to God’s grace that’s shown me how blessed I am to have a mother like her. I’m 24 years old and still find so much comfort in just being with her. I escape when I’m with her. I’m like a child again and it doesn’t annoy me a bit because I cherish the wisdom and love she gives. She’s so selfless and I’m daily inspired to be like her.

I’m a sister to my big brother and big sister. My big brother and I have developed a really awesome friendship in the last 4-5 years. This sounds crazy but we never really fought. Maybe it’s the age difference. He’s the realist in the family and he’s been through a lot in his life. I admire him for his courage and integrity. He’s one of those guys that can pick up on subtle hints and if he senses you’ve had a crapalicious day…he’s gunna make you smile. Wait for it. My sister and I are night and day. Seriously. We’ve never fought either. That is where you sense my sarcasm. She’s the peacemaker…at least that’s how I see her. She stays out of trouble and she encourages. Her laughter is contagious and her heart is stunning. The thing I admire most about her is her wisdom and her smile. She must take after her mother on that but hey, I’m just guessing.

I’m a mama…to a beautiful little mutt. He’s my kid for now and I treat him as such. I love dogs. I mean, think about it. They’re low maintenance, cuddly, cute, entertaining, not that expensive, and easy to train. Once you’ve trained them…they’re pretty loyal of staying that well behaved until death. You cannot get that with a kid. I work with teenagers…so I’ve had a nice dosage of a variety of children and their behaviors. Yes…I want to be a REAL mom. Don’t get me wrong because I do struggle with that pain of longing to be a mother but I know that God knows best and He’ll bless us when it’s time.

So to know about me, you must first know what’s important to me. The rest is just details. Why am I here? I used to blog, write poetry, ramblings, devotions and sundry thoughts in the past. I realized I missed it. It’s time to reawaken the madness.